Men's Issues Therapy
with Erik Giles, LCSW (he/him)
Direct therapy for men who want honesty, accountability, practical tools, and a therapist who understands how gender, work, relationships, and identity collide.
A lot of men ask what I actually mean by men’s issues. Usually it is pretty simple: the kinds of things a man may feel more comfortable talking through with another man. That can mean work pressure, provider identity, relationship problems, fatherhood, sexual concerns, shame, performance anxiety, dating, anger, loneliness, bad behavior you are trying to clean up, or the private sense that life is not working the way it should even though you keep telling yourself to just handle it.
I do not think men should feel embarrassed about wanting a male therapist. A lot of issues really are gendered. The word provider lands differently for a man. Expectations around strength, emotional control, money, work, parenting, sex, and usefulness all carry a lot of baggage, and not every man wants to explain that from scratch before the real conversation can even begin.
I also know that many men worry therapy will feel soft, vague, or performatively sensitive. That is not how I work. Therapy with me is direct, conversational, and interactive. It should feel human and useful. Sometimes it really is one guy telling another guy, I hear you, but that explanation is not holding up and we need to be more honest about what is going on.
Why Men Often Wait Too Long to Get Help
A lot of men have been trained to see emotional struggle as something to endure rather than understand. Even when the cost gets obvious in a relationship, at work, or in the way they are living, many men still default to minimizing, distracting, rationalizing, or trying to muscle through. That is one reason men’s therapy can matter so much. By the time many men finally show up, the issue has usually been affecting more than one part of life for a long time.
It is also a complicated time to be a man. Expectations are changing. Some of that is healthy and overdue. Some of it leaves men feeling confused, defensive, ashamed, or unsure how they are supposed to show up now. Therapy can help make that complexity speakable without turning it into ideology, cliché, or self-pity.
This Is Not Just Talking to a Buddy
A lot of men wonder how therapy is different from talking to a friend. The biggest difference is how I am listening. This is not a casual conversation where I wait for my turn to tell a story or offer a quick opinion. I am listening for the places where you are protecting yourself from the truth, distorting what is happening, or quietly organizing your whole life around a fear you are not naming.
Friends can be valuable. But it is usually not their job to call you out consistently, track patterns over time, or help you line your choices up with your actual values. Therapy should feel more intentional than that. More honest. More useful.
Men, Shame, and the Cost of Avoidance
A lot of men’s issues are really shame issues. Shame about work, money, sex, failure, fatherhood, aging, ambition, desire, dependence, weakness, or the gap between the man you thought you would be and the man you feel like right now. Shame tends to drive the exact kind of avoidance that then makes the problem worse.
Part of my work is helping men stop hiding from the thing they already know is not working. That does not mean beating yourself up. It means facing reality, understanding what is underneath the behavior, and making practical changes that actually matter.
What I Help Men Work On
- Work pressure, provider stress, and career identity
- Marriage, dating, conflict, infidelity, and communication issues
- Sex, performance concerns, and the emotional side of masculinity
- Anger, shame, defensiveness, and emotional shutdown
- Fatherhood, blended family stress, and feeling torn between roles
- Loneliness, isolation, and difficulty talking honestly with anyone
- Life transitions, decisions, and the feeling that your life no longer fits
- Building practical skills and emotional honesty without turning therapy into fluff
How This Work Connects
You may also be interested in:
✔ Career & Work Support
✔ Couples & Relationship Therapy
✔ Decisions & Transitions
Frequently Asked Questions About Men's Issues Therapy
What do you actually mean by men's issues?
Usually it means the kinds of things a man may be more comfortable talking through with another man: provider stress, sex, fatherhood, relationships, dating, shame, work pressure, anger, identity, or behavior he is not proud of but wants to be honest about. It is not a gimmick. It is just an acknowledgment that some issues are experienced differently by men.
Is men's therapy just venting about being a man?
No. The point is not to complain or build an ideology around masculinity. The point is to understand how gendered expectations are affecting your choices, relationships, and emotional life so you can function better and live more honestly.
How is this different from talking to my friends?
I am listening in a different way. Therapy is not just conversation. I am tracking patterns, blind spots, avoidance, and the gap between what you say you value and how you are actually living. A good friend may support you. My job is to help you change.
Do you only work with men on stereotypically male issues?
No. Some men come in for work pressure, sex, or fatherhood. Others come in for grief, anxiety, relationship pain, shame, or a general sense that something is not working. Men’s issues is not a narrow category. It is often about the context in which a man is trying to talk honestly.