Anger & Shame Therapy

Anger and shame are two of the most common struggles people bring into therapy. Most of us were never taught how emotions actually work — we didn’t get a manual for our nervous system or a guide to handling criticism. Instead, we learn through trial and error: snapping in anger and regretting it later, or shutting down under the weight of shame and guilt. Both leave you feeling like your emotions are in charge, and you’re just along for the ride.

Not Flaws to Eliminate

At Modern Therapy Alliance, we don’t treat anger or shame as flaws to eliminate. They’re valid signals from your body and mind. The work is in how those feelings show up in your life. Maybe anger pushes you to say things you regret. Maybe shame keeps you frozen, unable to act. Either way, the outcome is the same: you feel stuck. Therapy is where we slow things down, untangle what’s happening, and start building skills that let you use those emotions instead of being used by them.

The Role of Education

Part of this process is education. Emotions aren’t abstract; they’re neurobiological. Stress hormones, sleep quality, and dopamine regulation all play a role. Sometimes irritability is less about your relationship and more about the fact that you’re running on four hours of sleep and caffeine. Other times, it’s about something deeper — feeling unseen at work, unappreciated in your relationship, or hopeless in a situation you can’t change. Knowing the difference is critical, and that’s where therapy comes in.

Recognition & Experimentation

We’ll start with recognition — helping you actually identify what you’re feeling in the moment. From there, we experiment: journaling, somatic awareness, thought reframing, or just talking it through. The goal isn’t to get rid of anger or shame, but to understand what they’re telling you and channel them into action that serves your values.

What You’ll Gain in Anger & Shame Therapy

Tools to recognize and regulate emotional reactions before they spill over
The ability to repair faster after conflict and rebuild trust
Skills for handling criticism without collapse or defensiveness

Clarity about when emotions are signaling real issues versus lifestyle stressors
A calmer, more grounded presence in your daily life
Confidence in responding with resilience instead of reactivity